Chapter Thirty-Four

Philip's resonant voice filled the outer office. "How about telling me what's so damn important you couldn't-"

He stopped in the open doorway. He was in his gray working-dress uniform, but still impeccable. Dignified. Handsome. I watched emotions flicker through Philip's blue eyes as I worked on reorienting my own.

"Chaz!" He stepped toward me, hand out, then hesitated. "This is what the security stops are for. I should've known."

He raised his chin, his gaze on Sully who wasn't safely in the recesses of my ship's bridge this time. As with Thad, recognition took a few moments. "I gather Hell was full."

"Still room for you, Guthrie."

Damn it, don't start. We need his help. I was angry, but forced myself to bank my emotion. It was useless right now. I took a deep breath, offered my ex-husband a bland smile. "Why don't you sit on the couch. We'll tell you what's going on."

Philip moved easily as if meetings like this, as if my showing up unexpectedly again, in the company of a dead smuggler, were part of his everyday schedule. He leaned back against the cushions, propped one leg on his knee. Thad sat at his desk.

"That was the Meritorious," Philip said to me.

"I had reasons not to tell you."

I could see his mind opening and inspecting those mental Fleet-issue databoxes. He nodded to Sully. "I gather you helped my wife escape?"

"She's not your wife."

I shot a warning look to Sully. "They've got checkpoints out. They will find us, unless you can get us out of Marker, on the Loviti. Will you?"

Philip studied me for a moment before his gaze flashed to Sully. "I only want what's best for you, Chaz."

"That could mean a lot of things." Sully said, rising. His voice was soft, but there was an underlying forcefulness.

Philip met Sully's obsidian gaze squarely. "What's your interest here?"

"At the moment, you. Your intentions. Your allegiances."

"You question me?"

"We have to question." I put my captain's command voice behind my words. "We don't know if we can trust you."

"Why? What did you do?"

I chose my words carefully. "We destroyed a jukor lab."

"Impossible."

"That we destroyed the lab?" Sully asked.

Philip responded with a dismissive glance. He turned back to me. "Breeding jukors was banned years ago. The labs were destroyed. All embryos, genetics, everything."

"A jukor attacked us on Moabar," I told him quietly. "The lab we destroyed a few hours ago had two pair, Philip. Two breeding pair. And a Taka female, serving as surrogate."

He stared at me, hard. "Who's doing this?"

"My cousin, Hayden Burke." Sully's voice was cold. "And, according to Commander Bergren, a number of very powerful people close to Prew. Are you one of them, Guthrie?"

Philip shot to his feet, anger twisting his face, his clenched fist moving. Sully caught his arm, held it firmly for a moment. Philip jerked his wrist out of Sully's grip. Anger vibrated across his face, radiated from his body. But he didn't move.

Sully's eyes were already infinite, dark. And locked on Philip's. He held his hand open at chest level, his fingers splayed slightly, but not touching Philip. Dark energy rippled over his shoulders, down his arms. It flowed toward Philip, as if going through him and around him at the same time.

I held my breath.

Thad swore softly.

Then it was over. Philip blinked as if he had suddenly, and unexpectedly, awakened.

Sully turned to me as if nothing unusual had happened. "Son of a bitch hates Hayden as much as I do. We can trust him."

Philip's lips thinned, his expression hardening. "Mind-fucker!" His fist caught Sully on the side of the jaw, throwing him back against Thad's desk. I was already on my feet.

Sully lunged, pinning Philip onto the couch. I grabbed Sully's shoulders. "Stop it!"

Sully anticipated Philip's next swing, jerking away before the blow could connect.

My fingers dug into Sully's shoulder. I grabbed Philip's arm with my other hand, tugging and pushing at the same time. My feet tangled with Philip's legs. I lost my balance and fell onto the low sofa table.

Thad shoved by me, grabbing for Sully's arm. I blocked him, catching him in the stomach with my elbow. "I said, stop it! All of you!"

I plowed in between Sully and Philip, braced one arm against the back of the couch. Thad sank down on the low table, clutching his midsection, breathing hard.

Philip glared up at me. Behind me, Sully's breath rasped.

"We had to know," I told Philip. Another no choice situation. Like on the bridge of the Karn. I pushed myself upright and faced Sully.

His arms were clenched at his sides. His chest heaved. A reddish bruise had blossomed on his jaw.

"Power down. Both of you," I said.

Philip sat up, raked his hands through his hair.

Thad was back on his feet. "She needs your help, Philip. I'm not any happier about dealing with... him than you are." He slanted a glance at Sully. "But Burke threatened to kill her before. He will now. Unless they stop him, first."

Philip took a deep breath as if to center himself. "Tell the whole story, from the beginning."

I did. I told him how jukors were breeding and Takas were dying. And other Takas were taking revenge, raping and killing human females. How Berri Solaria was working with Lazlo, and had uncovered Sully's plans through her friendship with the Takan monk, Brother Verno. Who had risked his life to save us, and a Stolorth, Brother Ren Ackravaro.

Sully spoke tersely, gave Philip facts, figures, what names he knew. He showed him the datatabs, their information now on the way to Guardian Drogue.

"I'll need a copy of that sent to the Loviti," Philip said.

Sully hesitated. "I'm not sure I trust official Imperial channels right now."

"For good reason." Philip's expression looked suddenly pinched. I had a feeling what he'd heard didn't surprise him as much as I thought it would. "And I'll make sure those official Imperial channels don't see it. But there are people, people I know, who need to."

He did know something. "Philip?"

He slanted a glance at me. "Later. I'll explain later. Thad?"

My brother sat behind his desk, stared at his hands and told how Burke had threatened my life when he'd confronted him with the jukor data. He admitted that my ship's logs had been falsified, my trial, manipulated. My sentence on Moabar was a warning to Thad to cooperate.

Philip exploded in anger. "Damn it, Thaddeus! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Burke owns people-"

"A Guthrie? Me?"

"My first priority was keeping her alive. I didn't have time to find out who I could trust."

"So you hired him?" Philip pointed dismissively at Sully, leaning against the edge of Thad's desk.

"Nobody hired anybody," Sully said, tiredly.

Thad leaned back in his chair. "I thought he was dead. Like you did."

Philip regarded Sully as if he were some sort of specimen. "Ragkiril. And a human one. A genetic rarity. But immortality isn't one of their attributes. Even if he is a Kyi."

Sully straightened slightly.

"Didn't think I'd know that, did you?" Philip appeared clearly satisfied with the impact of his words. "I know what you are, what your kind can do. My family researched Ragkirils during the war. Ragkirils and jukors. It sounds as if your cousin wants to make sure you stay dead this time."

"Few people know what I am. Hayden's not one of them. And yes," Sully continued as Philip started to speak again, "Chasidah knows."

"Only a Kyi-Ragkiril can read without touching a subject," Philip told me, as if to make sure I knew what Sully was. "Watch his eyes, the way they seem to go totally black. He's monitoring my thoughts, probably yours and your brother's as well. So don't think for a minute he doesn't know we're all afraid of him. We have good reason to be. He can do a lot more than just see what we're thinking."

"She knows," Sully repeated, tightly.

"That she's working for a shape-shifter?"

A sharp silence followed his words. I'd told Dorsie that if there were shape-shifters, someone in Fleet would know. Someone had. The Guthries. But only them? I shook off questions we didn't have time for and stepped forward. "We need off Marker. Will you help?"

"If it were just him, I'd tell him to find his own damn way off. But there are other issues here, issues you don't know about. So, yes, Chaz, I'll help." He motioned to Thad. "I'll need to use your deskscreen."

My brother vacated his chair and exchanged a brief, startled glance with Philip. "Shape- shifter?"

"Ever seen the paintings in an Englarian temple?" Philip asked as Sully shoved himself away from the desk.

I didn't bother to watch for my brother's affirmative nod. I felt Sully's annoyance, felt him keep his reactions in check. Philip's knowledge, and confidence, clearly bothered him. He took a seat at the conference table and swiveled away from Thad and Philip.

I was glad for once I couldn't read rainbows. A distinct edginess hung in the air. Considering what we faced, it was counterproductive. I decided to lead by example, a tried and true Fleet method.

I sat next to him. "What's Ren's status?"

"There's a worker bar on Fourteen. Mostly Takas. They've been able to stay there for awhile."

"Any chance of getting back to the Karn?" Sully and Philip on the same ship for any length of time wasn't going to be a workable situation. And it would take the Loviti awhile to reach Dock Five, or Dafir.

He angled toward me, his hand opening as if reaching for me then he closed his fingers into a fist. He stared at them. "Guthrie still thinks of you as his wife." His voice was quiet.

I glanced at Philip. His concentration was on the desk screen, and the conversation he was having with his ship.

"We don't have time for personal issues, not his, not yours, not mine."

His hand opened again. "You're not his wife, Chasidah."

"I know that," I said. His eyes snapped briefly to infinite darkness.

Mine. Then the harsh tone in my mind softened. Chasidah-angel. Philip says to fear me. Do you have any idea how afraid I am of him?

"My private shuttle will be at Access Bay Seven Blue in twenty minutes." Philip tabbed off the deskscreen and leaned back in Thad's chair. "We're going to run into the security stops. Do you and your friends uplevel have ID?"

Sully swiveled slowly around, leaving emptiness, longing, and warmth in my mind. His sensations hovered around my confusion.

"Ren and Verno have Englarian clearances on file. Get me any two cards," he said to Thad, standing behind Philip. "I'll get Chasidah and myself through from there."

Philip scowled openly. But Thad agreed. "I'll need my desk back."

Philip grabbed the back of the chair next to mine, sat. He leaned his elbows on his knees, clasped his hands together. He deliberately ignored Sully as he moved by and chose instead to study me for a long moment. "I want you to consider something. I have no idea what your plans are after we get out of Marker. But with this information on Burke I can go to Tage's office, clear your name. A captaincy could be yours, again. It will be, because I'm on the Admirals Council now. The Chaz Bergren I've known most of my life would never turn that down. Not even to work as a pilot for a smuggler, a Ragkiril, a rare human one at that, who might yet end up being one of the wealthiest men in the Empire."

"I've got two cards." Thad's voice cut between us.

Philip shoved himself to his feet. "Think about it."

* * *

Thad drew me into a very un-Thad-like hug as we got ready to leave his office. He would stay behind, run interference through his access into the security system and work on the copies of the data Sully had left him. He'd be in touch, through a private comm tran I could access.

I feared for his safety, knowing what we did of Hayden Burke.

My big brother was more concerned for mine. "Philip's appointment on the Council should halt most questions." Unless Burke had people in places higher than a Guthrie could go. There weren't many. He squeezed my hands. "Be sure... of what you want to do," he said softly.

Sully was a few feet away, waiting in the outer office.

"Trust Philip," he added.

I bussed his cheek. "Watch after Willym for me."

Sully checked his Carver, adjusting his jacket around the weapon. I did the same with my Stinger. He had both ID cards in his pocket. "Ren and Verno will meet us at the bay at Seven Blue." He touched my arm. I need a constant link with you.

Agreed. I pushed away my unease at Philip's warning about Kyi-Ragkirils. If there were problems, Sully, scanning, reading, would know before anyone else. I wanted that knowledge.

Two stripers in the corridor watched us approach-Philip and Sully, with me in between. They saluted. "Everything all right, captain?"

"Optimal."

But we were still on Fleet property. The security checkpoints were in Marker's public areas. The stripers there might be less intimidated by the Guthrie reputation.

The security droid at the checkpoint we'd passed through earlier now had a human companion.

"Lieutenant Halpert. Do you need to see my ID again?"

"No sir, Captain Guthrie. But we had reports of a problem. I'll need to check the others' IDs."

Sully gave Philip a barely perceptible nod as he fished in his jacket for the ID.

"We're on Admirals Council business," Philip continued. "I don't want to be delayed through a misidentification. I need clearances sent from here through to Seven Blue."

"Very good, sir. I still need to log them in to do that."

Sully held the cards out to Halpert. "For my wife and myself."

I knew Philip heard, but his only reaction was to clasp his hands behind him, rock slightly back on his heels. A sign that meant he was holding his temper.

Halpert scanned the cards, frowned. "I'm sorry, but-"

Sully's hand grasped his shoulder in a casual manner. "A problem, lieutenant? I think the system's just running a little slow right now."

"A little slow." Halpert took a deep breath. "Sometimes this happens."

Sully removed the cards from the slots. "We're clear to go."

"You're cleared."

A second barely perceptible nod. This time from Philip, to Sully. An acknowledgment of what he knew Sully could do. Change what someone thought, what someone saw. Just as Gregor had said.

I toyed with questions while we walked. It was early evening, station time. Less work uniforms, more civilian clothing on the clusters of people passing by. But I wasn't thinking of Marker 2 at the moment.

Why didn't you do that when we got to Moabar Station? I remembered how my card had read out an error in Berri's medical files. Drogue, Ren, Sully and I had all crowded around the scanner.

Takas get suspicious when touched by humans. I had to wait for the M.O.C. officer to focus on the screen before I could 'show' her the file was clear.

He'd brushed against her, I thought. Or touched her. Changed what she saw.

In the core, why didn't you make me see something else? Or forget?

I felt a small twinge of pain. He was remembering my fear, as I was.

Besides the fact I'd have no explanation of how we'd arrived uplevel?

So it's not like a zral, or... I didn't want to say the other word.

It's more like a distraction. A sleight of hand. It has to be consistent with the situation.

That's why I saw energy, not wings, on the bridge of the Karn. I still saw Sully doing something. Only how he appeared to me was slightly changed.

I don't like when I have to do that, Chasidah. It's a decision I make, it's something I do only when I have no other choice. When lives are threatened. On the Karn, I was concerned about the crew. The mission. If you and Gregor and the rest of the crew found out what I was then, everything was in jeopardy.

A group of people waiting at the lifts talked excitedly. I thought about Sully's answers as I watched the group. I had to watch all the stationers moving around us, toward us. Berri and Lazlo were out there. But so were others, others I wouldn't recognize. We had to get to Blue, halfway around from where we were in Green.

Two stripers on patrol nodded, but said nothing. Sully flashed mind-pictures over his link to Ren. They were moving cautiously, Verno's short rifle concealed, wrapped in his jacket.

Philip slowed, his hand rising slightly. "General checkpoint ahead. You can read if there's problems from this distance, can't you?"

On the left side of the corridor were a portable scanner and three stripers, two female, one male. All human. That was a good sign. No Takas who didn't want to be touched.

Sully's eyes darkened. Philip watched him. I wondered what his family's files on Ragkirils, on Kyi-Ragkirils, had told him. Enough that he'd known what Sully was after he'd scanned him. Enough to be angry at the intrusion. Enough to state we all had very good reasons to be afraid.

"They're hungry," Sully said after a moment. We picked up our pace. "Bored. Nothing interesting's happened. If Halpert sent through our clearances from the Fleet checkpoint, we should be fine."

"If he hasn't, he'll find himself sitting a few rather unpleasant duty shifts." Philip squared his shoulders, held his ID out to the tall woman security officer, read the name off her tag. "Cortez. We're on Admirals Council clearances. My ID should suffice."

Cortez scanned it and briefly studied us. She was an older woman. Her duty pins showed twenty-five years. I couldn't remember if I'd ever seen her on Marker before, but it wasn't unlikely.

"Captain Guthrie." She handed him back his card. "Jumptalk has it you're up for an admiralty. Congratulations."

"It won't be official until next week, but thank you." Philip flashed her a smile, full of Guthrie confidence and magnetism. She smiled back.

Hell, it'd worked on me for years. He ranked right up there on my list of charming bastards.

"Your associates are clear." She waved us through. The male striper leaned over, said something in her ear.

Cortez responded with a narrow-eyed glance. "That's Philip Guthrie, you idiot." She caught Philip's glance back to her. "Sorry, sir. We've been told to watch for some Farosian terrorists."

"I'm aware of the advisory. Thank you for your cooperation." He leaned toward me as we walked. His fingers closed around my elbow for a few moments. "The advisory might be genuine, or something Burke's put in place, looking for you. He's evidently trying to drag the Farosians in this. His contact in Prew's circle either has a reason to shed suspicions on Blaine's people or else his imagination is severely limited. Every time something happens lately in the Empire, the Farosians are blamed."

"That's because I'm not around anymore," Sully said, his gaze straight ahead.

"You, however, were at one time responsible for a large number of problems. Including the one you're in now. Mind telling me how a Kyi-Ragkiril didn't know this Solaria woman worked for Burke?"

"Because she believes she's on a holy mission. That's all I read from her. The insane believe their lies to be truth. Her insanity fits nicely into her religious devotion."

The corridor curved slightly. In the center, a group of young Fleet personnel, all ensigns, talked animatedly, laughing. They saw Philip's captain's insignia and quieted for a moment.

Philip steered me around them, his hand grasping my arm again. "Do the Englarians know what you are?" he asked Sully.

"They know I'm doing everything I can to stop the gen-labs. Beyond that, they haven't asked and I don't volunteer."

Valid reasons. I remembered him saying that. But isn't an omission a lie?

If the truth is so unacceptable, so heinous to them, what have I achieved by revealing it? And if it prevents them from working with me, then jukors breed and more Takas die.

I held my thoughts for several steps. Words like risk, fear and wisdom surfaced after a moment, but they were my own words, not Sully's. I thought about what had happened on the Karn. Revealing he was a Ragkiril would have jeopardized the mission at that point. Finally I nodded. But sooner or later, you have to trust someone. Especially if you're asking her to trust you.

I've learned that. And I will change that. Don't give up on me, angel-mine.

Don't give me any more half-truths.

None.

Warmth filtered through me, lay softly against those painful tendrils gripping my heart.

We were almost through Yellow, Blue sector not far away. One more checkpoint and then the shuttle bay. I fell into my little time game, the one I'd played when we'd headed for the Diligent Keeper on Moabar Station. Ten minutes to freedom. Five minutes to freedom. Then I remembered it hadn't brought me any luck. Though things this time did seem to be going better. However, I wasn't ready to dub it, in Ren's words, 'a good day.'

We crossed into Blue. Three stripers waited, again, at the checkpoint. One female, two male. Philip went through the routine, turning on his charm to the appropriate gender. Turned on his authority and Guthrie heritage to the one male striper who took a bit too long with our ID.

Sully walked casually toward the scanner, smiled his own rakish smile at the woman. Reading, scanning, his eyes already darkening. Ready.

But it wasn't needed. They let us pass.

The traffic in Blue sector was lighter. Dinnertime was over, people were back in their apartments or perched on a barstool somewhere. The Loviti had a damn fine galley, as I remembered. I didn't know what I wanted more. Dinner or a long, hot shower.

Or a captaincy again? Philip's words rolled through my mind.

"Seven Blue's the next set of double-doors," Philip said.

Where are Ren and Verno?

On their way. They opted for the freight lifts. Slower, but more Takan workers, less chance of Lazlo following them.

And Takas would defend their own.

Philip glanced at the pad as he keyed in his access code. "Shuttle's in early. Good. I'll feel one hell of a lot better once we're back on board." The doors slid open and he put his hand on my shoulder, guiding me through. "We'll get cleaned up. You and I should have dinner. We have to talk about a lot of things." His mouth tightened. "Something's happening in the Empire, Chaz. I don't like it."

"And Burke's behind it?" We were back to what he'd alluded to in Thad's office.

"He has power, but not that much. That's why all this doesn't make sense. I may have to talk to Tage, again." He squeezed my shoulder. "Actually, Burke's move may be the proof I need."

If Philip had been talking to First Barrister Darius Tage, then this was serious, very serious.

"Later," he said, again, when I looked up in question. "I'll explain, later."

Sully followed us into the small airlock control room, open and unsealed now with a ship in the berth. Through the wide doorway the sleek form of an Imperial Captain's Pinnace appeared almost suspended in the center of the cavernous, dimly lit bay. Behind her, outer door guidance lights formed a half-halo, casting eerie shadows through the ladders and maintenance rampways on the left and right. Boxy cargo stages for loading and unloading dotted the floor. The ship's six wide landing struts and short rampway were darkened, telling me the pinnace had probably been in longer than we thought. I would've preferred a hot shuttle, with engines ready to go. I wanted off Marker, too.

The corridor doors slid closed behind us. Philip leaned over the small ops panel, hit the intercom, opening the link to the bridge of the pinnace. "Tyler, Guthrie here."

I let out a short sigh and stared at the pinnace and wide shuttle bay, seeing neither. I might well drop from exhaustion before we got to the Loviti.

Sully's arm curved across on my shoulder. His breath ruffled against the top of my head. A rush of warmth curled through me. Demanding. Giving more.

"Tyler, this is Captain Guthrie."

I heard Philip's note of concern but I couldn't move away from Sully. Or from the warmth, the now relentless spirals of pleasure. His hand moved to my face, touched the line of my jaw. He brushed his thumb across my lips. I saw myself, for a moment, reflected in a mirror. Wearing an Englarian nun's robe, my hair braided with a leather and silver beaded tie. And Sully, eyes smoldering, standing behind me, caressing my face.

Mine. All that I am, is yours.

I never knew he'd said those words to me that night. I knew them from when we'd offered them to each other. Not in the monastery now called up in my memory. But in that place I called gray fuzzy soft. In the Kyi.

Mine. All that I am, is yours.

Another memory washed over me. Sully's memory. I saw a bulkhead before me, I felt only pain, fear, desolation. Then arms came around my waist, from behind me. Chasidah's arms. Holding me, sending acceptance, forgiveness. For what I am. For what I had to do to Kingswell, to Tessa Paxton.

She didn't understand, I hope to God she never understands what I do, what I am. To be damned by the darkness that lives inside me.

To be saved by her love.

No more half-truths. No more omissions. Sully was starting to show me all.

The abrupt sound of Philip's hand slapping against the commlink jolted me. "Damn unit's off-line."

Sully's hand slid down my arm, leaving a hazy feeling of warmth, love, trust.

"Problems?" Sully and I asked simultaneously.

"Commlink's not-functioning, again. I'll go open the ramp hatch manually." Philip strode through the wide opening toward the pinnace.

Something clicked three times behind me. Ren? But corridor doors click once on opening. Three clicks... I spun around. The status lights on the door to the corridor went from green to red. Locked. Someone had auto-locked the doors.

The red went to red-flash. Airtight lock. Outer bay doors were prepping to open, to let in the vacuum of space.

Sucking any living thing in the bay, out. Dead. Lifeless.

I grabbed Sully. "Airtight's active! Find overrides, shut it down! Don't let those doors open!"

I didn't wait for his response. I tore out of the control room, screaming Philip's name.

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